I was born with the curly hair, the big nose, and the self deprecating attitude that make us Jews so charming. I was raised going to Friday night services twice a month, Sunday and Hebrew school every week. I have awkward, poorly lit photos of me wearing braces with teal and purple bands, an oversized Kippah and Tallit while standing at the Bimah holding the little silver pointer finger, trying to will my 13 year old voice box into submission reciting my Haftorah portion.
It took me exactly 8 hours to forget my Haftorah portion permanently, 2 months to forget the meaning of any Hebrew I learned, 2 years to forget all but the most common blessings, and about 4 years until I all but forgot I was Jewish.
I never made a conscious decision to start being “less Jewish”, but without intention, it became all too easy to identify as “culturally Jewish”. I think I used the descriptor culturally Jewish because it feels like an intentional decision, rather than a cop out because I had (and have) other priorities in my life.
To be clear, I still have absolutely no idea what the right amount of Jewish is for me, and I sure as hell have no opinion on how other people practice, but I do want to take a moment to thank Judaism for letting us be into you on a religious level, cultural level, spiritual level, communal level, and any combination of the above.
So, you may be asking yourself, why should I care how Jewish this guy writing this blog post is?
Well, I would tell you, because a couple of years ago, I started a Judaica company, which forced me to reconnect with the culture, customs and Jewish people in a way that I now know, many people reading this may be looking for as well. I started Tchotchke because I wanted to reconnect, and in a weird way, it was the easiest way for me to do it without feeling like someone who had some big epiphany telling them to find their way back to the bimah.
I’m figuring out how to re-incorporate Judaism into my life in a way that makes sense for me and my family, which leaves me with the same dilemma so many of us are reckoning with… What kind of Jew am I? Am I conservative because I grew up at a conservative synagogue? Am I reform because that seems a little less intense than conservative? Am I reconstructionist even though I don’t know the difference between reform and reconstructionist? Do I even have to decide? What if someone more religious asks me and my answer is too convoluted and weak?
This is quite possibly the worst blog post you’ve ever read because I’m going to end it here by saying I have no idea what kind of Jew I am, or even want to be, but tonight, my craving for oysters is telling me that on the sliding scale of Jewishness, I’m coming in to the left of Kosher.
Adam